Teaching Self-Care Skills (Coats, Shoes, Toileting) the Montessori Way - post

What is the Montessori approach to self-care skills?

In Montessori, self-care is part of “Practical Life.” These are real tasks children do every day. The goal is not “perfect” results. The goal is confidence.

Montessori self-care lessons usually include:

• A prepared space (everything has a place)
• A slow, clear demonstration (the adult shows, not explains too much)
• Freedom to practice (children repeat the skill many times)
• Respectful help (support only as much as needed)

When children can take care of their own bodies and belongings, they often feel proud. They also build focus and patience.

How do you set up the environment for ? 

Before you “teach,” look at your room. Small changes can make a big difference.

Try adding:

• Low hooks for coats and bags (child height)
• A small bench or sturdy chair for shoes
• A basket for socks and a simple shoe organizer
• A mirror at child level (helps with clothing and washing)
• A “toileting routine” basket near the bathroom (if allowed) 

Also, keep the steps simple:

• Choose coats with easy zippers (or large buttons)
• Encourage shoes with Velcro or simple slip-ons at first
• Have extra clothing easy to reach, not locked away

When children can reach what they need, they do more by themselves. #Independence

How do you teach coats the Montessori way?

Coats can be tricky. Montessori uses a helpful trick called the “coat flip” (great for #toddlers and #preschoolers).

How to do the coat flip:

1. Lay the coat on the floor with the inside facing up.
2. Put the child’s hands into the sleeves.
3. Have the child lift the coat over their head and “flip” it onto their back.

Make it easier by:

• Practicing when everyone is calm (not during a rushed transition)
• Teaching one child at a time, then inviting others to try
• Using the same words every time (like: “hands in… lift… flip”)

For hanging coats:

• Show children how to find their hook
• Add a photo or symbol above each hook for younger children
• Model hanging it up slowly, then let the child try

How do you teach shoes and socks without rushing? 

Shoes are a perfect Practical Life lesson because children get many chances to practice every day.

Set up a simple shoe area:

• A bench or chair
• A small rug or “shoe spot”
• A basket for socks
• A spot for each child’s shoes

Teach in tiny steps:

• Step 1: Sit down and take shoes off
• Step 2: Put shoes side-by-side on the shoe spot
• Step 3: Put socks in the sock basket
• Step 4: Put socks on (if ready)
• Step 5: Put shoes on (if ready)

Helpful Montessori tips:

• Offer choices that support success (Velcro, wide openings)
• Use real practice, not “ #pretend”
• Give time for repetition

If a child struggles, try guiding with less talk and more showing. Long explanations can confuse children, especially non-native English speakers.

How do you support toileting with #respect and routine?

Toileting is a private, important skill. Montessori encourages a calm routine with dignity.

A simple toileting routine might be:

• Notice the child’s signals (wiggling, holding, stopping #play)
• Walk to the bathroom calmly
• Follow the same steps each time
• Wash hands and return to play

Create a consistent sequence:

• Pull pants down
• Sit on the toilet
• Wipe (with help if needed)
• Flush
• Pull pants up
• Wash hands

Keep your tone neutral and kind:

• “Your body is telling you it’s time to try.”
• “Let’s go to the bathroom.”
• “We can try again later.”

Accidents will happen. In Montessori, accidents are treated as learning moments, not “bad behavior.”

If there’s an accident:

• Stay calm (no shame, no teasing)
• Help the child change clothing
• Clean up together when possible (simple, #respectful help)
• Return to normal activities

A practical tool you can use is a toileting independence basket idea like “Potty Basket for Independence”.

What do you say while children practice self-care?

Montessori #language is usually short and positive. The adult does not “take over.” Instead, you support the child’s effort.

Try these phrases:

• “Show me how you do it.”
• “Try it slowly.”
• “One step at a time.”
• “You worked hard on that.”

Try to avoid:

• Doing the task quickly “for” the child
• Saying “No, not like that!” (it can shut a child down)
• Talking too much while the child is concentrating

A good rule is: help only as much as needed, then step back.

How do you balance #safety, #culture, and different readiness levels? 

In child care, you may support children with different #home routines, #languages, and comfort levels. That is normal.

To keep things respectful and safe:

• Follow your program’s toileting and hygiene policies
• Communicate with families about the routine you use
• Respect #cultural differences in clothing, privacy, and bathroom words
• Watch for readiness signs (not just age)

If a child is not ready yet, you can still build helpful skills like:

• Pulling pants up/down during diaper changes
• Practicing handwashing steps
• Learning to sit on the toilet briefly with calm support

Where can you find more support and training?

If you want deeper Montessori guidance on independence and routines, these options can help:

Montessori4Teachers courses (related to independence and self-care):

• Wings of Independence
• Mindful Supervision: Balancing Safety & Independence in Montessori 
• The Prepared Environment: Montessori Class Design 

Related ChildCareEd article:

• Wise Words Wednesday: Potty Training 

And for ongoing tips, quick ideas, and updates, invite your team (and families) to follow ChildCareEd on Facebook.